First of all let me say...holy crap lol. @redheadpixie22 (Christina) was right. Trying to read that one long ass paragraph hurt my eyes. Oh well let me say that in the midst of spilling those thoughts the ENTER key was not on my mind.
There I fixed that problem.
Thanks to everyone who read and left feedback. It's rather fun that I now get to do the same thing. I get to talk to my other side through reflection and critique of what pours out of my drunken psyche.
First of all...way to be a cocky jackass about your drunken spelling ability.
While I can't remember much, I do remember thinking "Oh shit. That word has a red line under it. It must be wrong." Automatic spell check made me look good there.
Secondly, I think that your ranting made it seem as though you wanted a girl to permanently replace your drinking of alcohol.
The fact that I didn't drink very often when I was with my ex wasn't actually a product of her filling any kind of a "void" for me. The fact of the matter is that I had quit drinking excessively about a month before I even met her. I knew that I had to take a step back and take a break from it for awhile. My tolerance was out of control and a 16 vodka shot session was a PRE-GAME activity. I don't have any vision of drinking as much as I do now in the future. I just want to go out and enjoy my college experience as much as possible, seeing as how it is almost over (hopefully). I feel as though I can balance that portion of my life in the future.
So far you are 0-2.
Third, you ARE right about the fact that you love being in a situation where you know that someone cares about you as much as you do them.
That's just the way it is. I don't think anyone wouldn't get pleasure out of that scenario though so it's not really a hard judgment to make.
So now you are 1-2.
Fourth, once again you are right about the girl you would like to be with.
It's undoubtedly true. I am in that position. Many people are telling me that I have to say something to her about it and that if I don't she won't ever know. I think she does though. And sometimes less is more. I think in this case just letting the chips fall where they may is just what needs to be done.
Ok, now you are 2-2. 50% isn't bad for a drunk ass.
Fifth, what's this shit about your sober half can't do it? It's not that I can't but that I won't. Not right now anyway. For all of the reasons you listed in your excedily long section about her.
You go to 2-4 for that cheap shot.
Sixth, you are definatly right about wanting to get out of this area.
If my parents and a select few friends didn't live here I would have been gone already. I would have gone away; out of state to college. I would have worked the same as I do now and lived on my own. It just would have been in a warmer, more desireable area. Things about this area bug the hell out of me. Other than my obvious disdain for the weather, things about the people here are unavoidably annoying. I know my "cynical nature" came up and it's true. However I don't feel that way when I am other places in the world. For example, people in the south are warm and inviting. It's not called southern hospitality for nothing. People in New York are progressive. People in California have open minds. A large majority of the people here are so set in their ways they don't realize that there even is anything else out there. You would be suprised at the number of people here that haven't ever left the area. How can you say that Ohio is the best if you've never been anywhere else? Finally one simple example about how people think here would be...Twitter. People around here (most of them anyway) think that Twitter is a useless, stupid tool. My roomate @slantlinx is the top Twitter user in the whole area. And while he is an avid user, there should be people that are in the business of networking and promotion that are higher up in the list. They should realize that if they use it the right way there is an infinate amount of marking possibilities. It isn't that they don't know about Twitter, they just don't care.
I digress. I'll give you 4-4 for making such a good point about location.
Finally, you were right about the one person that gets you through it all.
If you have found that person you know that it is true. If you haven't, I'm right there with you. I'm not really looking AS HARD as my other half let on because I don't know where I'm going to end up in the next few years, both mentally and geographically. If I find someone that I truly love then obviously I won't pass on the opportunity to be with them. But like you guys said, I know that I can't LOOK for love. I know this because the last time I fell in love I wasn't looking for it. I was just going bowling with some friends and happened upon her. Then I got lucky by telling her which color bowling ball she should use to get a strike. The ten pins going down sealed the deal.
5-4 overall. Not bad for your first official attempt. Just remember to use more than one paragraph next time. See you later buddy.